The never-ending search for correct protocol and etiquette continues. Today I turn the spotlight on dining and comestible affairs. While I am aware that south-east Asia features what are disturbingly termed 'developing countries', that is absolutely no reason why we should accept substandard service in the restaurant.
It is a fact, my friends, that the only venues where crisp white napkins are readily available are the 5 Star hotels. This scandalous revelation may shock the more sensitive reader but it is, I fear, demonstrably true. Equally absent is the humble dining knife, and I despair at the number of times I have attempted my repast armed only with a fork and spoon (spoon!). How, you might wonder, can one possible eat a steak or fillet mignon with a ghastly spoon? Or even 'chop sticks', as they are termed in the rough vernacular. I have never, in all my time in these climes, had the pleasure of witnessing a fish knife on the table, even though piscine dishes are superabundant. Silver service is likewise utterly alien. Candelabra have had their rightful place usurped by frightful 'fairy lights' and Royal Doulton or other prestigious dining services have been replaced by cheap formula 'Chinese' potteries of quite terrifying hues.
At the risk of appalling the more fastidious, I could go on somewhat and supply legion after legion of the most dreadful lapses in culinary service. I think that I have made my point without laboring the horrors of contemporary dining. But I do quite forcibly suggest if not urge that we of more refined taste simply refuse to accept such uneducated and slipshod standards and simply 'boycott' all venues not meeting our exacting requirements. Only this, I feel, will restore a necessary decorum into the culinary experience.
